你今天做實驗了嗎?

「外形,asana,就是個容器,裡面裝的是我要如何填進去的實驗,我要如何安住於當下的實驗。」 – Amy Matthews

“The shape, the asana, is a container for an experiment around how I’m gonna fill it or inhabit it at that moment.” – Amy Matthews

讀到「安住於當下」,你的反應會不會是「又來了,又是那種陳腔濫調」?或者,光是這種字眼就讓你覺得「法喜充滿」(究竟充滿了什麼又實在不太清楚)?

其實喜歡或者厭煩本身都沒問題,都可以是體驗的一部分。就像我自己現在在寫這一小段文字,因為一邊在揉麵糰、蒸饅頭,一邊收拾書包準備要出門上工,一邊又盯著時鐘看,急著想在午飯前搞定一切,整個人都煩躁起來。索性去頂樓澆澆花、掃掃落葉,給自己兩分鐘緩一緩。效果還不壞。

接著就想到了《大念處經》裡提到的基本操作技巧。今天就做這樣的實驗: 把《大念處經》當成操作手冊、指南,來做自己的瑜珈練習、實驗吧!


《大念處經》真的很強大。有空的話,請仔細讀讀看底下列出幾個不同版本的中譯、英譯。整部經(或者這一小段落)基本上就是一部操作手冊,在練瑜珈、練asana,或者稍微能夠靜下來一點點的時候,或者需要讓自己靜下來一點的時候,都很適合練習看看。


諸比丘!比丘如是在出息長時,了知:我出息長;入息長時,了知:我入息長。修習:我當覺知(息之)全身而出息;修習:我當覺知(息之)全身而入息。修習:我當寂靜身行而出息;修習:我當寂靜身行而入息。

如是,比丘安住於身,觀照內身;安住於身,觀照外身;安住於身,觀照內外身。安住於身,隨觀生法;安住於身,隨觀滅法;安住於身,隨觀生滅法。於是「有身」之念現起,唯有正念與覺照,無所依而住,不再貪著世間之任何事物。

諸比丘!此即比丘安住於身,循身觀察。

(中譯出處:性空法師,《大念處經》講記)


Bhikkhus, a bhikkhu breathing in a long breath, knows, “I breathe in a long breath”; breathing out a long breath, knows, “I breathe out a long breath”; breathing in a short breath, knows, “I breathe in a short breath”; breathing out a short breath, knows, “I breathe out a short breath”. “Aware of the whole breath body, I shall breathe in,” thus he trains himself; “Aware of the whole breath body, I shall breathe out”, thus he trains himself. “Calming the process of breathing, I shall breathe in”, thus he trains himself; “Calming the process of breathing, I shall breathe out”, thus he trains himself.

Thus he dwells perceiving again and again the body as just the body (not mine, not I, not self, but just a phenomenon) in himself; or he dwells perceiving again and again the body as just the body in others; or he dwells perceiving again and again the body as just the body in both himself and in others. He dwells perceiving again and again the cause and the actual appearing of the body; or he dwells perceiving again and again the cause and the actual dissolution of the body; or he dwells perceiving again and again both the actual appearing and dissolution of the body with their causes. To summarize, he is firmly mindful of the fact that only the body exists (not a soul, a self or I). That mindfulness is just for gaining insight (vipassana) and mindfulness progressively. Being detached from craving and wrong views he dwells without clinging to anything in the world.
Thus, bhikkhus, this is a way in which a bhikkhu dwells perceiving again and again the body as just the body.

(Maha Satipatthana Sutta, translated by U Jotika and U Dhamminda)


諸比丘啊!如是一樣,彼於長出息時,於彼所作長出息,心中了了分明,彼於長入息時,於彼所作長入息,心中了了分明,彼於短出息時,於彼所作短出息,心中了了分明,彼於短入息時,於彼所作短入息,心中了了分明。彼如是訓練自己所有出息寧靜有序,訓練自己所有入息寧靜有序。

彼如是生活,彼於自身注意觀察其身,彼於他人注意觀察其身,彼於自身他身兼顧注意觀察其身,或觀察身內之生起,或觀察身內之壞滅,或兼察身內之生起與壞滅。由於專心繫念而認清其身無非是如其所念,如其所知而已。如是,彼生活會無所染著,與世間一切事物也無所執取。

諸比丘啊!彼於日常生活中,應如是注意觀察其身。

(中譯:鄧殿臣、趙桐,出處:CBETA 漢文大藏經


When making a long turn, discerns, ‘I am making a long turn,’ or when making a short turn discerns, ‘I am making a short turn’; in the same way the monk, when breathing in long, discerns, ‘I am breathing in long’; or breathing out long, he discerns, ‘I am breathing out long’ … He trains himself, ‘I will breathe in calming bodily fabrication.’ He trains himself, ‘I will breathe out calming bodily fabrication.’

“In this way he remains focused internally on the body in & of itself, or externally on the body in & of itself, or both internally & externally on the body in & of itself. Or he remains focused on the phenomenon of origination with regard to the body, on the phenomenon of passing away with regard to the body, or on the phenomenon of origination & passing away with regard to the body. Or his mindfulness that ‘There is a body’ is maintained to the extent of knowledge & remembrance. And he remains independent, unsustained by (not clinging to) anything in the world. This is how a monk remains focused on the body in & of itself.

(translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu, Maha-satipatthana Sutta: The Great Frames of Reference)

無意識的習慣

「醫藥無法改變我們動作裡的有害習慣。在健身房裡練舉重無法教我們如何善巧地保持我們直立的體態。跑馬拉松無法讓我們避免一整天在桌子前的不良坐姿。醫藥無法彌補軟骨和關節數十年來承受過度壓力的所受到的損傷。心理治療無法調整我們焦慮的姿勢和拱起的肩背。昂貴的人體工學椅無法教我們如保持平衡坐好。在所費不貲的 spa 裡享受按摩與低脂美食、量身打造的健身課程也無法教我們如何善巧地運用我們的運動系統。

我們以為我們的意識、心靈有無窮的潛力,然而,因為受限於我們無意識的習慣,我們根本沒有那麼多自己誤以為自己擁有的選擇。」 – Missy Vineyard

“But medication cannot change the harmful habits that accompany our actions. Lifting weights at the gym does not teach us to skillfully maintain our upright poise. Running a marathon does not prevent us from sitting in a heap all day at our desk. Medications cannot undo the wear and tear of decades of excess pressure on cartilage and joints. Psychotherapy will not fix our anxious gestures and hunching shoulders. Expensive, orthopedically designed desk chairs do not teach us to sit in balance. An Expensive week at the spa filled with massages, a low-fat diet, and a tail-made exercise regimen does not teach us to use our locomotor system skillfully.

We pride ourselves on the vast potential of our conscious mind, yet due to our unconsciously learned habits most of us have far less choice than we believe” – Missy Vineyard

身體和心靈不是相互連結的

你有過飄浮在水面上的經驗嗎?完全不費力氣,不掙扎。是水的浮力來支撐著你。你能做的,就是不對抗,專心享受。

還記得剛剛一開始學游泳的時候嗎?你擔心,你費盡全力想要掙扎,想要對抗,想要克服一切阻力。說不定過了一小段時間,你開始適應,配合,接受;一個不小心,又掙扎,因此又多喝進了兩口水。

一位游泳教練(同時也是亞歷山大技巧的老師)說得非常好:Learning to swim’s a mental thing.(學游泳是心理活動。)克服了恐懼,學會了放手,才能夠盡情享受飄浮的快感。。

下次練體位法之前,先暫停幾分鐘,躺下來,在攤屍式(savasana)休息一會兒,讓地面來支撐你,仔細觀察整個身體和地面接觸的觸感,後腦勺、肩胛骨、上背到下背、雙臂、臀部、雙腿,一個一個部位串連起來,和地面有什麼關係,這關係裡呈顯出的品質、狀態;不對抗,專心享受。接著慢慢屈膝,側躺,慢慢爬著坐起來,慢慢站起來,清楚察覺姿態變化的過程,整個身體和地面的關係如何改變,然後在山式(tadasana)休息一會兒,繼續讓地面來支撐你,繼續體驗身體和地面的連繫;不對抗,專心享受。

瑜珈老師 Amy Matthews 說,「身體和心靈不是相互連結的,他們是同一個東西。」("The mind and body are not connected, they’re the same thing.“)

分清楚你的 features 和 bugs

分清楚什麼是 features(特色),什麼是 bugs(毛病),是非常重要的能力。

(別擔心,有 中文譯稿。)

自閉症患者 Rosie King 認為,自閉症是他的 feature,不是他的 bug。只是世界上每個人都習慣急急忙忙替所有事物貼上各種標籤,「他是自閉症患者」,「他是 LGBTQ」,「他是女生」,「他是老么」,「他是黑人」;「我不喜歡這個人」,「我討厭這種做事方式」。

然後就收工結案。

有沒有可能靜一下,等一等。有沒有可能在貼上標籤之前(或者之後),張大眼睛再多看一下,再仔細多聽一會兒,再稍微想個幾秒鐘幾分鐘幾天。

就像在靜坐一樣,各種習性會一直出來呼喚我們的注意力,誘惑我們離開。我們一不小心就覺得,「是啊,我就是坐不住啊」,「我一靜坐就會打瞌睡」,「我一定可以趕快進入上次體驗到的輕鬆安靜」。真的是這樣子嗎?一定得這樣子嗎?

很多別人或者自己眼中的毛病,可能真的是毛病,能改的得試著改;很多別人或者自己眼中的能力,可能不見得是能力,說不定也得試著改。當然,也有很多事,不是想改就馬上能改,或者不是努力了,就一定能改。

分清楚 features 和 bugs 的差別,真的太重要了。所以囉,svādhyāya(探究自我)這件事(yoga sutra 2.1),再怎麼強調也不為過吧。該改的,能改的,努力改;不是自己能改的,努力了也改不了的,大概也只能放下「一定得改」的企圖吧。(但也不用催眠自己說這些 bugs 其實是 features。)

不過請小心,如同演講裡的 Rosie King 沒有被世人對「自閉症」的一般見解綁住,我們也要非常小心,別因此就被「全然接受這樣的自我」這種類似行銷的話術給騙了。

不是哪個老師哪本暢銷書告訴你這樣子過日子是最好的,就真的一定是最好的最適合自己。我們得自己動手動腳操作,實驗,增長知識與理解,建立假設,求證,修正或推翻假設,反覆練習。

就像在練瑜珈 asanna 一樣,我們的身體狀態很可能和老師不一樣,我們的體驗很可能和旁邊的同學不一樣。沒有人必須要表演出其他人期待的樣貌,如果我們真的想要,當然可以創造出自己獨特的新舞碼。

神聖空間

[每天花一段時間靜坐,或者,和自己獨處一會兒吧!]

神聖空間對當今每個人來說都是絕對必要的。你必須要有個房間,或者一天差不多花個一小時,浸淫其中。在那裡,你不需要知道今天早上的新聞內容,你不需要知道你有哪些朋友,你不需要知道你欠任何人什麼東西,你不需要知道有任何人欠你什麼東西。在這個神聖空間裡,你可以單純地體驗,體驗你自己,體驗你自己的可能性。這是個創造性的育成空間。一開始,你可能覺得什麼事也沒發生,但如果你繼續堅持下去,終究,總是會出現的。 – 喬瑟夫.坎伯

Sacred space is an absolute necessity for anybody today. You must have a room, or a certain hour or so a day, where you don’t know what was in the newspapers that morning, you don’t know who your friends are, you don’t know what you owe anybody, you don’t know what anybody owes to you. This is a place where you can simply experience and bring forth what you are and what you might be. This is the place of creative incubation. At first you may find that nothing happens there. But if you have a sacred place and use it, something eventually will happen. – Joseph Campbell